motherfuckerofbabylon:

verybusyandimportant:

Motherfucker of Babylon: GALLLGGGHHHH

motherfuckerofbabylon:

rouxfully:

HOUSE CENTIPEDE

OFFICE CENTIPEDE?

OFFICE HOUSE CENTIPEDE?

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE REGARDLESS

they do look creepy as all get-out and they give me an instinctual shudder, too, but house centipedes are actually pretty freaking helpful, if that can soothe your NOPE?

check…

D-: why did you say cockroaches

I take it there’s a story here? :sits, would grab popcorn but c’mon we’re talking about infestation:

Putting it behind a cut because I don’t even want to read it….

After a really horrible breakup like four or five years ago, I had to move quickly. But! I found this beautiful 3rd floor 1br with a dining room, dishwasher, a berjillian windows, and the original 1950’s metallic art deco iris wallpaper in the bathroom at like Irving Pk and Western for, like, $600/mo HEATED. Sure there was this weird faint smell that was like half way between old cat pee and gas, but I figured stuff needed a good cleaning because like. Come on. It was a miracle apartment. Right?

No.

We scrubbed down the apartment. We didn’t see any bugs or much like… debris, but it was kinda dirty and Like. new apartments need to be cleaned hard. So We did Every cabinet, every surface. Deep deep cleaning. Did a bleach of the floors and walls. But the smell just wouldn’t quite leave. I stocked up on incense and my favorite Virgin de Guadalupe rose scented saint candles. Crisis averted?

About a week after I moved in,my downstairs neighbors got evicted for repeated issues in the building, including not paying rent for six months. My landlord, who was this sweet older dude who was all “ohh you remind me of my daughter who moved to LA. I’m so glad you found our building in your time of need. if you need anything, if your ex is a bad guy, just let us know. we’re here for you” had told me about them and that they’d be leaving soon.

A few days after they moved out, after a major clean up effort by some contractors who dragged out at least fifteen mattresses and several dumpsters of garbage, there was this weird dead bug in the middle of my dining room on its back. I had no clue what it was so I sent a photo to my mom. And she was all “oh. no. honey. that’s a cockroach.”

Within about… 8 hours of seeing the first bug, in the middle of the afternoon, there were groups of like 10-20 roaches in the corners of my bedroom, living room, and dining room. They were coming up the radiator pipes from the floor below. I ran to the store, got bug bombs, baits, boric acid, steel wool, caulk, and all of the bug spray I could find. I moved my cats to my friend’s apartment, and slept there for a few days, spending my free time sealing up the apartment and bombarding it with bug killing treatments. After the first bomb we filled, and I SHIT you not, a small bathroom garbage can with cockroaches. We sealed up every pipe. Put 4 inch wide, 1 inch deep strips of Boric Acid in front of every threshold and window sill. Caulked every baseboard twice. Insulated every light switch and outlet. Threw away all the food. Shut off the water.

And that went on for two months. Three months where my landlord turned into a total dick and kept charging me rent and wouldn’t send anyone to fumigate the entire building even though I showed him photos of the bags of roaches.

Finally, after not seeing a living or dead bug for a whole week in the apartment and living with my friends, I decided that I could move back in. And it was great for a few days. But then.

I came home from work and there were swarms of hundreds of roaches in the corners of my livingroom and bedroom. I have no idea how they could have gotten in. Like. There was nothing on the floor. That place was immaculate. HUNDREDS of roaches. It was like a fucking horror movie.

I grabbed my cats and left for like 48 hours. By the time I got back there were egg sacs on everything (even though like. Everything had been deeply cleaned days prior).  I threatened to sue my landlord and he let me out of my lease, returned my security deposit and one month’s rent.

I lost everything I couldn’t boil, bleach, or put in the washing machine, or wasn’t willing to put in the freezer for a month because of how many fucking egg sacs had been laid. Every piece of electronics. Every piece of furniture, including my grandmother’s coffee table and bed, and like all of my bookshelves. I saved about half my books and my kitchenaid mixer by keeping them in plastic bags with some bait stations inside covered plastic tubs full of diotomacious earth and boric acid and left those outside for an entire winter.

I was able to fit all of my worldly possessions, myself, and my cats in their two giant cat carriers in my PT cruiser. which was kind of cool. But also. Was a loss of thousands of dollars that I would have to replace.

I had to move back to my home town for like three months, a two hour drive each way from my office, into an apartment my family owned. I was really lucky to have that option. I slept on an old couch for a couple of weeks. And then I got pneumonia and bronchitis and almost got fired for missing so much work because apparently I am really allergic to cockroach dander? Also bugspray.

I really, really hate cockroaches.